


Of Star-Crossed Sardonicism

by GenieTheHobbyLobbyist



Series: The Miraculous Spiderman Series [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Miraculous Ladybug, Spiderman - Fandom
Genre: A severe butchering of the French legal system, Angst, Courtroom Drama, Crossover, Doesn’t follow canon, Everyone is sixteen currently, Fantasy Violence, Felix is Adrien’s cousin, Felix is a pretentious little bitch, Felix is oblivious to his feelings, Fluff, Gen, Human Suluu, London, Lots of references to famous literature, Miraculous Spiderman, Original Characters - Freeform, Paris - Freeform, Peter Parker / Adrien Agreste Friendship, Peter Parker has a miraculous, Phoenix Miraculous, References to French Language, Slow Burn, Spiderman / Ladybug / Chat Noir Friendship, Spies, Spinoff, Suluu is now in law school, Superheroes, The Miraculous Spiderman Series, Tony is still alive, Unwarranted philosophy lessons in every chapter, original kwami character, peter goes to paris, post identity reveal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:07:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28975596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GenieTheHobbyLobbyist/pseuds/GenieTheHobbyLobbyist
Summary: Felix Graham de Vanily is a member of high London society, living his life at his pretentious private school during the day, working as Spiderman’s manager during the night. However, being Spiderman’s manager comes with its own share of troubles, ones that he can’t seem to avoid, often sucking his reluctant acquaintance Bridgette along with him.This is a spinoff of The Miraculous Spiderman Series, but can be relatively understood without having read the other story first.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Bridgette/Félix Graham de Vanily
Series: The Miraculous Spiderman Series [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2125344
Comments: 1
Kudos: 22





	1. Things Fall Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Felix’s time to shine! This fic is probably going to be a lot less ‘action based’ than the original, but then again, Felix and Bridgette aren’t secretly superheroes in this one ;) that being said I do have SOME action planned, but for now, I hope you all enjoy !!!

It was a dreary day, as one imagines a London day in January to be, devoid of colour and either raining or threatening it. As luck would have it, rain was beating down on the windows of the old school building, rattling the intricate panes.

The school was old and sophisticated, which was probably a deciding factor for most of its pupils and their pretentious families. Its exterior maintained the appearance of an old castle, and the interior continued that theme, complete with an abundance of plants in the cafeteria, in an attempt to bring the outdoors indoors to make the wet winters less unbearable. Made of stone, it did little to keep the cold out, but the students in their uniforms complete with thick suit jackets rarely complained. All the furnishings were made of dark oak, all the books in their library jacketed in muted tones with gold script. It was a traditional environment, and expected its inhabitants to behave as such. The best thing to be in Meliora Academy was rich. The second best thing was smart. The worst thing you could be, in the eyes of the staff, was unruly. Unruliness was simply not tolerated at Meliora. And that was fine by Felix. He was rich and smart.

Felix Graham de Vanily was seated at his usual table in his usual spot in the cafeteria as per usual, eating his usual lunch that consisted of one espresso and beef Wellington, seated right next to the window and right beneath a banner bearing the school’s crest and motto: _disce quasi semper victurus vive quasi cras moriturus._ Most unusually, however, he wasn’t currently reading a book and imagining himself in new worlds. He had every reason to want to live in the present; good looks, an expensive suit, intellect to rival, yet as all boys with intellect, he concerned himself with all that he could not see, and he could usually be found immersing himself in classic literature. But not today.

Lunch was the furthest thing from his mind. It always was.

Felix drummed his slender fingers, the sort that had never so much as suffered a splinter, against the table, going over the recent turn of events in his head.

His uncle was dead. As was his aunt, although he’d known that. His uncle’s creepy assistant, Nathalie, had been arrested on multiple counts of conspiracy to commit murder as well as multiple terrorist charges. She was being held without bond until her trial. Felix was confident they’d never be hearing from her again. His cousin, Adrien, was the sole benefactor of Uncle Gabe’s will, something Felix wasn’t planning on contesting. The will hadn’t even appointed Adrien by name, it had been drawn up before his birth.

‘ _Any surviving offspring_ ’. Yeah, Felix could only imagine that being another punch to his cousin’s gut.

As the will stated, Adrien was made head of the Agreste brand, but he wasted no time in passing off control to his father’s second-in-command. While he remained set to receive an obscene fifteen percent of the company’s profits annually, it had been clear from the get-go that Adrien neither wanted to nor had the ability to run a multi-billion dollar company. However, he did keep his legal status as one of the company’s heads, allowing him to veto or add any ideas he saw fit. Felix imagined his choice had something to do with his girlfriend, Marinette, and her penchant for fashion.

And of course, there was the _other_ situation. Adrien Agreste was now Adrien Agreste-Parker. Adrien wasn’t actually calling himself that, but after a series of posts to his instagram account of him with Peter, Peter’s aunt, and _Tony Stark_ captioned ‘the Parker family’, Felix had begun to think of him that way. The adoption had come as a surprise to Felix, who had always expected that Adrien would come live with him were anything to happen to Uncle Gabe, but Felix was quick to see the merit. Had Adrien become a part of his family, Felix would’ve forced him to move to London, something that definitely would not have boded well with his cousin. It seemed as though Peter had fallen in love with the French city just as much as Adrien had, and the two would be spending the school year in Paris and travelling back to New York for holidays.

Deep, deep down, Felix was actually happy for his cousin. Finally Adrien was getting the complete family he deserved. From what Felix had heard, briefly, from Peter was that Adrien was planning on putting a couple million towards renovating the Agreste mansion into something more livable and something that would “suit all their needs”. Peter had said this with a wink, although Felix hadn’t been sure what he’d been winking about.

Nevertheless, after the funeral, Adrien and Peter had flown out to New York to finalize the adoption there and they weren’t due back for at least another week. And so Felix was dead bored and stuck in London.

“Felix?” A soft, yet melodious, voice reached his ears and pulled him back to the present. A girl with long, dark hair and eyes so blue they were almost black stared at him, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.

Felix pursed his lips, frown deepening. Bridgette was the thorn in his side, the everlasting headache, but she was also the hitch in his throat and the pang of his heart. Not that Felix would ever tell anyone that. In truth, he didn’t even realize it himself. Almost all his emotions were mistaken for annoyance by his own conscious.

“What?” He snapped, eyes roaming around the cafeteria. The cafeteria had once been a dining hall, made to entertain hundreds of guests, so Felix had plenty to look at. Anything besides Bridgette as she opened her juice box. Why was she drinking a juice box anyways? They weren’t children. Felix wanted a juice box.

“Are you thinking about work again?” It was the excuse he always gave her. When he was upset, it was because of work. When he was too busy to hang out, it was because of work. When he was avoiding her because of the way she made his heart flutter, it was because of work. Work, work, work, work.

When in reality, it was never because of work.

His job was laughably easy. Spiderman, although never easy to boss around, complied pretty well with whatever press conferences Felix set up, although he’d claimed to be taking a ‘little vacation’ after his fight with the Papillon (aka Uncle Gabe), where he’d fought alongside Ladybug and Chat Noir. Felix hadn’t heard from him since, and it had been three weeks.

In fact, none of the heroes had been seen since the press conference to assure the civilians that the threat of the Papillon would no longer loom over Paris. Chat Noir hadn’t even attended it. But other than that, they’d been rather vague about what had gone down inside the Agreste mansion that had lead to the Papillon’s death.

“Yes, just work.” Felix took a deep breath and forced himself to look at Bridgette again. She was still smiling at him, her eyes still holding their ever-present sparkle. How annoyingly consistent she was with her emotions.

“Do you want to go get tea or something after school? I found the cutest little café-slash-bookstore and I think you’ll love it!” Her eyelashes fluttered slightly and Felix felt a sudden heat rise up his neck. Was his collar always this tight? Maybe his tie was restricting his airway. Bridgette was really getting on his nerves today.

“No,” he said simply, pulling out his phone, ignoring the way her face fell.

“No as in you don’t want to, or no as in you hate café bookstores?”

Felix took a slow, restrained, sip of expresso as he opened his contacts app. “I have to go make a call.”

It was a short walk from the cafeteria to the courtyard as Felix pressed the ‘call’ button under Spiderman’s contact, back hugging the side of the building so that the roof’s overhang protected him from the downpour. As it had the past hundred or so times Felix had tried to call him in the past week, the call went to an overly cheerful voicemail, far too jolly given the circumstances.

“ _Hey it’s Spidey! I’m just taking a quick little break from saving the neighbourhood! Gotta personal life too, so I’m just catching up with that. Leave a message after the tone if you’re Ladybug and I’ll get right back to you! If you’re Felix, take a break, man. Sleep some, maybe, it might do you some good. Catch you later!”_ An effervescent melody followed and Felix gritted his teeth.

“It’s Felix,” he said, feeling rather stupid. “I’ve taken enough of a break, I need to know when you’re planning on coming back into the field. People are starting to wonder what went down in the Agreste mansion, and the only ones who can set the story straight are you and your band of merry men. Call me back, or I’m going to start bugging Peter Parker, and that’s a threat. Bye.”

Classes were boring and tedious, as they usually were, and Felix worked his way through an English essay on a book they’d read in class of which Felix held little regard for. His teachers appeared to have an exceptional talent at figuring out the precise stories he did _not_ want to read and assigning it to him. Anything that had an overarching theme of true love or anything of the sort was off the table. Love was to him as a gnat was to a dog, which is to say bothersome but not necessarily worth a shred of mind.

Only once classes ended and Felix was permitted to leave did his day begin to improve. He got into his privately chauffeured car as his classmates hailed down cabs, and he pretended not to see their grins as they met up with friends, undoubtedly preparing to go off on some new adventure.

It was a short drive to Felix’s house, yet it took them right out of London and to the outskirts of the city. After news of their uncle’s arrest had reached his mother’s ears, Ms. Graham de Vanily had insisted on moving, lest the press begin to hound them. And so they’d moved out of their rich neighbourhood and relocated in a large house on a sprawling property with an orchard filled with every fruit one could grow in that environment.

The house itself was older, Victorian style, and came complete with an added on conservatory and solarium, which was where Felix endeavoured to spend as much time as possible. He wasn’t an outdoorsman by any means, but he was content to sit inside and look out at the world and wonder how he’d ever managed to fall in love with the land and sky in such little time.

Windows let in plenty of spare light, dark oak and muted tones alluding to the fact that the house had been well renovated in the recent past, giving it more of a dark academia style that Felix lived for. Ivy grew up a lattice along one side of the house, adding to the effect of the sort of house kids would avoid on Halloween. Needless to say, he’d had no qualms about leaving his rich neighbourhood to live in a house where his nearest neighbour was a five minute drive away.

The solarium room was the newest addition to the house and was attached to his bedroom, expanding outwards from where a bay window had once been, where he’d set up two couches and numerous plants, not that he ever intended sharing the special place with anyone. It was his and his alone, and besides, he had no one to share it with. But in the few weeks since they’d moved, Felix had spent many a night sleeping on the couch just to fall asleep under the stars.

As soon as he’d maneuvered his way through the foyer filled with moving boxes that had yet to be unpacked, he made his way to his room, bypassing his actual room and taking a seat on his couch, relishing the rainy scene laid out before him before he retrieved his laptop from the coffee table and got to work.

Before his disappearance, Spiderman had – rather sarcastically – sent Felix a link to the Avengers Internal Affairs and Management directory, along with a list of introductory videos to watch. Felix had yet to set foot in any sort of Avengers building (not counting the approximately three minutes he’d spent in the headquarters when he’d visited New York), and most of his training was supposed to be unofficially based on whatever he retained from the videos. Or so Spiderman told him.

Besides consistently depositing a hefty sum into Felix’s bank account every week, Spiderman didn’t seem to do much else despite the fact he was technically Felix’s boss. Sure, Felix was the manager, but Spiderman decided what counted as managerial duties. And so far, he had yet to make a single demand of Felix.

“So, you’re looking to market your new superhero brand,” Captain America’s face filled the screen and Felix sighed. Captain Steve Rogers narrated every video, minus the odd few where different Avengers stepped in to speak on areas that were their expertise, but all had the same amount of detached enthusiasm when they spoke. Rolling his eyes, Felix stood up, stretching, before flinging himself into a rolling chair that was part of his actual bedroom, letting it glide over the hardwood floor over to his closet.

Everything was meticulously colour-coded, even though there was not much colour to begin with. Felix untied his tie and shedded his vest and collared shirt before selecting the sole contributor to the yellow category. He pulled on the golden yellow ‘City Boy’ shirt he’d acquired while in New York. The cheap fabric was no luxury by any means, but it was so casual, so…normal that sometimes Felix liked to put it on when no one was around to see him. Now dressed like a sloppy American, he felt prepared to continue working his way through more sloppy American media.

“First of all, congratulations are in order. You’ve been selected to be a part of the marketing team for your brand new superhero! This is a big job, and first you want to make a list of all the things that make your hero special. Can they shoot lasers from a third eye in their forehead? Can they turn into a dragon at a moment’s notice? All of those are excellent places to start.”

Felix resisted the urge to smash his head into his desk, and not for the first time that day. Stupid, stupid, stupid. This was child’s play, which was probably the reason Spiderman was forcing him to watch it. He had no idea what Spiderman did and watching all the videos the infernal Ladyblog stocked of him did little to help Felix narrow down anything remotely pertaining to Spider-Man’s abilities.

His phone rang and Felix gladly paused the video, answering a call from his mother. She was in the house, but she obviously didn’t want to walk all the way up the stairs to tell him whatever it was. It was a nice habit that Felix enjoyed. The less human contact he had on a day to day basis, the better.

“Yes?” He answered primly, daintily lifting his discarded attire with the toe of his Oxford shoe and depositing it into his laundry basket.

“You have a visitor, I sent them on up.” His mother hung up with that short sentence, but Felix sat up straight, closing his closet door. He had a visitor? He didn’t dare hope it was Spiderman, but he didn’t know who else would come calling at his house. Who else even knew where he lived?

All hope was lost when Bridgette entered his room, clutching coffee in one hand and a book in the other.

“I brought you coffee since you couldn’t go to the bookstore today!” She said brightly, holding them out to him.

“I never said I couldn’t go to the bookstore,” Felix said frigidly, although he did accept the coffee. He never missed out on a chance to add more caffeine to his bloodstream.

“I just assumed. You’re always working so hard, and I figured today wouldn’t be any different.” She glanced at his computer. “Seems I was right.”

Felix shut the laptop, glowering at Captain America’s face as it disappeared. Superheroes were always supposed to come at the right time. Where was a superhero that took away annoying girls when he needed one?

“Nice shirt!” Bridgette braved another chance at conversation. Felix glanced down at his t-shirt and almost flushed with embarrassment. He’d forgotten he was wearing the horrid thing and now he felt like he’d been caught naked, exposed.

“All my other clothes are in the wash.” Felix smoothed out the front of the cotton-polyester blend. “This is a souvenir from the time I was Tony Stark’s thanksgiving dinner guest.”

That was one thing that could be said about Felix. He would never miss an opportunity to brag. Almost all his sentences were either a brag or a dig at the other person. Conversations were a competition for him, and Felix was always determined to come out on top.

“That’s cool!” But of course, Bridgette didn’t participate in his verbal wars. She just smiled at him, positively beaming. “Your room is so pretty.”

Felix retreated to the solarium and she took it as an invitation to follow, settling down on one of his couches. He, however, gazed out at the sprawling acreage.

“How did you know where I lived?” He observed her in her reflection in the glass, watching her blush and pick at the hem of her uniform’s pleated skirt.

“I found it in the…I looked it up in the…uh, phone book?”

“I just moved, plus addresses aren’t in the phone book.” Felix turned away from the window, fixing her with a blank stare, relishing the way she squirmed uncomfortably beneath his gaze. “Were you stalking me, Bridgette?”

“N-no!” She waved her hands through the air. “It was a coincidence I swear I was just-”

Felix let her flounder but he was no longer listening, nor did he particularly care. Bridgette wouldn’t bring the press to his front doorstep and was therefore not a threat. “What book did you get?” He gestured at the book in her hands with a rather noncommittal gesture, stoppering her stumbling excuses.

“What book did I...oh!” She glanced down at the book, shaking her head slightly. “Of Human Bondage. Have you read it?” Bridgette displayed the title for him to see. Felix had, in fact, read it. He’d read it the week before during one lunch period, sitting on his favourite bench under his favourite tree in his favourite condition: silence. The weather had been nicer, so he’d dared take a seat outside, coupled with the fact that some sort of noisy event had been occurring in the cafeteria, disrupting his usual perpetually silent corner. He’d noticed Bridgette lurking around while he’d been reading, but he hadn’t thought much of it.

“Of course I’ve read it. It’s ranked number sixty-six on the list of the top one hundred English novels of the twentieth century.”

“So it’s good, then?”

“Well, you have to do a little more than just read it and look at the message beneath it, but yes, I rather enjoyed it.” Felix glanced at his own rather large collection of books that sat upon a set of ebony bookcases that spanned across one wall of his room. And that was nothing compared to the library downstairs. “The sense that to exercise reason is to be equated with human liberty whereas the notion that submission to passion is the opposite was quite riveting. If you read it properly, the specific themes surrounding the idea of an individual’s freedoms and their limitations will become quite apparent to you, and it almost changes the way you look at yourself and others. You begin to question whether you yourself can live without ideals and whether your pursuit of such ideals is in turn hindering them.” He gave her a rare smile, although it was not one of affection but more of the joy he always felt when explaining things. His own knowledge was the foundation on which he built his personality.

Felix took a sip of coffee, watching Bridgette over the rim of the lid. She opened her mouth, then closed it, then opened it again.

“That’s not what I thought it was about when I saw you read- I mean, when I picked it up,” Brigette stuttered.

“What on earth did you think it was about?” He frowned slightly, lowering the cup. “Does this have sugar in it?”

“Yes. No. Maybe. No sugar next time?”

“There won’t be a next time.”

“Okay!” Bridgette said, tugging on one of her braids while she continued to stare at him. She still hadn’t answered his question.

“No really, what did you think that book was about?”

“You’re going to laugh at me.”

“I don’t laugh. I will, however, silently judge you. Perhaps verbally, depending on how badly you screwed up.”

Bridgette looked like she was considering her options when a little black fuzzball interrupted her thoughts with a soft ‘ _mrow?_ ’.

“Felix! You have a cat?” She reached down to scoop up the fluffy black cat, snuggling it to her face as it let out contented purrs. Felix shot the cat a look. _Traitor._

“That’s Acheron,” Felix said, setting his coffee down and taking his cat back. He couldn’t help the smile that invaded his features at his furry companion’s presence. People were obnoxious. Cats, however, were perfect.

“Acheron? That’s an interesting name.”

“It’s a the river of sorrow in the Greek underworld,” Felix said shortly, scratching under Acheron’s chin. “Calanthe is around here somewhere.”

As if on cue, a soot-grey kitty ran through the door, leaping over Felix’s desk chair and landing on the couch next to Acheron. One simply couldn’t pay attention to Acheron without acknowledging Calanthe as well, otherwise he would get most affronted.

“What’s Calanthe mean?”

“Beautiful flower,” Felix crooned, stroking his favourite beings in the whole world. The two cats settled down, loving the attention.

“I never would have thought you were an animal person,” Bridgette mused.

“I’m certainly not a people person,” Felix said, straightening up and away from his cats. “Cats are perfect. They’re relatively independent and they’re not needy.”

“And they’re fuzzy!”

“Yes. They have fur. Fuzziness is one of the accompanying qualities of such a condition. Now did you need something, or was this merely a social call? Because I should let you know I don’t do social calls.”

“I did need something,” Bridgette said. “You know how you sit alone at lunch all the time?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I was wondering if you wanted to…,” she rocked back on her heels, taking a deep breath before continuing, “…sit with me? At lunch? I mean, I feel bad since you’re always by yourself.”

“Has it occurred to you,” Felix said, making his way to the door. “That I like sitting alone?” He exited his room, letting her scramble to follow him out. “In fact, it is the one time during the day when I get to be by myself and avoid harassment from those like yourself. So the answer, Bridgette, would have to be no and good day.”

He’d lead her right to the front door, which he now opened, holding a falsely polite hand out for her to leave.

“I’ll see you at school tomorrow?” She attempted once again.

“Not if I see you first,” Felix said with a flat tone, closing the door before she’d even turned around on the top step.

“Felix, was that a friend of yours?” His mother blew into the foyer, dressed in a dark blazer overtop a red dress.

“Going somewhere?” Felix asked, dodging the question with practiced ease.

“I’m going out to dinner with some friends. You’ll be alright here, won’t you?”

“Of course, mother,” he responded swiftly, giving her a quick peck on the cheek. “Have fun.”

He strode back up the wooden staircase, taking two steps at a time. Truth be told, he was happy his mother was going out. He didn’t think it would do her good to hang around the house all the time.

The two cats had fallen asleep together, curled up on his usual couch, so Felix had to take the other, selecting a book off the shelf to read. Already he was regretting the smallest crack in his armour he’d had around Bridgette when introducing her to his cats. To show affection was a sign of weakness, and the only thing worth demonstrating, in Felix’s opinion, was strength. However, it was hard to keep up his usual mien of impassiveness when his pride and joy was right there.

He’d rescued both Acheron and Calanthe from a shelter when they were little, brought them home and raised them himself. They were civilized cats who obeyed the house’s rules, such as no scratching the furniture, and every time Felix looked at them he felt a swell of pride. Who needed such foolish things like friends when he had his cats, anyways? People were always a letdown, leaving when you needed them most, or betraying your trust. Cats wouldn’t do that to Felix. They couldn’t.

And when he settled down on his couch once more, deciding to make it his bed for the night so that he could stargaze once more, the cats joined him, curling up along his side, their purring bodies rocking him into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

It was another few weeks before Felix heard anything, save the fact that Adrien and Peter were back in town. Spiderman made no effort to reach out, except for an email sent at three forty in the morning one night, with a subject line of ‘I’ll keep you posted’ and no body text. It had taken immense effort on Felix’s part not to grind his teeth.

And so he found himself sitting back at his usual spot, engaged in a book, with Bridgette having taken up post at the end of the long bench. She wasn’t bothering him today at least, so he allowed her to stay, frankly unconcerned about any possible reasoning she might have to want to stick to him like a fly to honey.

“Message for you,” one of his classmates said, placing a sealed envelope on the table in front of Felix. One of the principal’s errand boys, undoubtedly serving out a detention sentence.

“What is it?” Felix replied flatly, staring at the offending envelope that was interrupting his silence.

“You’ll have to read it. You can do that, can’t you?” His classmate snarked before marching off with a dramatic adjustment of their jacket.

He sighed, rolling his eyes before reaching for the note, sliding a practiced finger under the flap, popping open the intricate wax seal.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he said a lot louder than he intended to.

“Why?” Bridgette perked up at once, apparently taking his outburst as invitation to slide down the bench and join him.

Felix was too annoyed to particularly care. “They’re subpoenaing me for Nathalie Sancoeur’s trial.”

“What does that mean?”

“They’re forcing me to testify,” Felix continued, eyes skimming down the page. “As a judge of character to provide credibility for Spiderman. I can’t wait until Peter Parker hears about this.”

“I know,” Peter said the second he picked up. “I got one too and I guess this is the safest procedure for superheroes who’s civilian identities are unknown.”

“Hell, I don’t even know the guy!” Felix stormed through the courtyard, gesturing wildly. “I’ve never had a single proper conversation with him. And now they’re expecting me to be a credible judge of character?”

“I _know,_ Felix. Adrien has to testify too, and it’s not going to be easy for any of us.”

“Is Spiderman even testifying?”

“Yes, day before we go to sing his praises.” Felix could hear him rustling papers in the background. “I’ll send some legal aid over later, and they’ll coach you on what to do. I’ll also get in touch with Spiderman and let him know what’s going on with the court.”

“What about Ladybug and Chat Noir? Can’t they take the witness stand too?”

“They can’t issue a subpoena for people who can’t be found. As Ladybug and Chat Noir’s identities are unknown and they have no way of getting in contact with them, it’s like they don’t exist. It’s up to either prosecution or defence to track them down and I don’t intend on helping them. Listen, I’ll get the legal aid over as soon as possible, but as soon as prosecution gets you in on their agenda I can’t let you outsource any longer.”

“Peter this is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. I don’t need legal aid to sit there and talk about Spiderman. What I _need_ is an audience with Spiderman.”

“Good call. My legal aid was a person who’s only been in law school for about five weeks anyhow. You think you could manage to spew some bullshit about the moral duty of helping people for like twenty minutes on the stand?”

“I can definitely do that,” Felix paced up and down the stone path, free hand clenched around his book. “But get me a meeting with Spiderman.”

“Done,” Peter said. “You two can get together tomorrow and discuss. If I’m correct in my assumptions, the prosecutors are going to come after me first.”

“Come…after you?”

“They need to have a good idea of what you’re going to say, obviously. I’ll let you know what they ask me. Now I’ve got to go talk to Spiderman. He’s not going to be happy.”

Felix hung up, feeling more unprepared than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thus concludes the first chapter of “Of Star-Crossed Sardonicism”! Yes, each chapter is a reference to a famous piece of literature, just to give it a little bit extra of a Felix touch
> 
> See you all sometime soon, lots of love<3


	2. Crime and Punishment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter titled after the book “Crime and Punishment” by Fyodor Dostoevsky, first published in 1866

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry y’all for the unannounced hiatus to get my ducks in a row, but I am back now with a chapter I wrote ~ a month ago!! I did, however, in my time off, create a character sketch sheet for characters who will be prominently featured in this story, and you can find it either on my Pinterest or my instagram! Also, to make Bridgette different from Marinette, I made her half Japanese, half Scottish in this fic, along with the last name of MacClery 
> 
> https://pin.it/6kNHM5p <— Pinterest;)  
> Or @geniethehobbylobbiest on instagram

His name was Morrison and Felix despised him. The prosecuting lawyer was also a professor at a Parisian law school and impressed upon Felix multiple times that he’d ‘come all this way’ out to London on this fine Saturday morning and expected to get results. Quite honestly, Morrison should’ve known that Felix wasn’t going to shed any spectacular light on the case. He’d been in London on every incident of crime that the prosecution was charging Nathalie for, far away from all the action.

The ministère public had built up a pretty firm case for themselves to the point that Felix didn’t remotely feel like they _needed_ his testimony, but Morrison assured him his character witness was essential.

“I’ve only met Spiderman twice,” Felix said, eying the prosecutor over the rim of his coffee cup. He’d refused to meet at his house, so Morrison had pulled the two of them into a nearby library. “And a week or two ago I’d never met him at all. I’m hardly what you’d call a good character witness.”

“We don’t have many options,” Morrison scratched the back of his neck, shuffling the papers he’d strewn out on the table in front of them. The two of them were dressed in suits, Felix’s made of significantly more expensive material, like he was going to meet the queen for brunch right after.

Felix was beginning to feel that his impassivity was annoying the lawyer. “You and Peter Parker are the only two people employed under Spiderman that I can throw on the stand for this purpose. The trial date is literally a week out and all you can think of to say is that Spiderman-” he squinted at his own handwriting “-‘exhibits proper decorum of the calibre one would expect of a superhero’. There has to be more you wish to say.”

Felix set his cup down and drummed his fingers against the table. He’d gotten his wish to meet Spiderman face to face twice since he’d demanded it of Peter Parker, and both times had been little more than essentially a question and answer interview with the hero. All Spiderman had been concerned with, like Morrison, was the upcoming trial.

“I think that about covers it. I’m just there to answer whatever questions the defence has,” Felix said, ignoring Morrison’s resigned sigh.

“I guess we’re done here, then.”

“Thanks for making the trip.” Felix gave him a wry smile before standing sharply, grabbing his coat and throwing it on, heading out the library and into the downpour. Truth be told, he could’ve gone to Paris instead of having Morrison come all the way to London. Hopping on the Eurostar was the next thing on his agenda.

He got odd glances from the people on train and in the streets of Paris as he hailed a cab to take him to his destination. A kid dressed in a full suit travelling alone was admittedly an odd occurrence, but Felix didn’t exhibit normal behaviour most days. No one asked questions and Felix didn’t offer any answers.

The Agreste mansion was the only stop on Felix’s itinerary, the massive building jutting against the afternoon sky as the cab pulled up outside the giant double doors. Felix paid the cabbie before adjusting his suit jacket and strolling into the house. The door wasn’t locked; the same way it’d been the four or five times he’d visited in the past two weeks. It was a new routine at this point.

“Hey, City Boy,” Felix was greeted the second he stepped into the foyer, yet he couldn’t place the source of the noise. The nickname, however, had been christened to him by Peter, passed down to his annoying little shadow, Suluu Khepri. Suluu was older than Peter, as far as Felix could tell, and he wasn’t quite sure when she’d shown up, but she made herself at home in the mansion.

Peter had explained she was a part of a ‘Junior Avengers Outreach Program’, something Felix had yet to find any trace of on the official Avengers website, and that she was studying law at the Panthéon-Sorbonne University. She was on Spiderman’s payroll, although Felix wasn’t sure why, and he didn’t see her around the mansion terribly often, as her courses demanded her full attention. When she was there, however, she made it everyone’s problem.

He finally spotted her after a good deal of craning his neck. Her long, thick brown hair was tied up in a ponytail, and she was wearing a cream coloured hoodie from her university, paired with black sweatpants. Suluu was impossible to ignore in the sense that her beauty commanded attention, along with her obnoxious attitude. Even Felix wasn’t immune to the charms her appearance cast but he did his best to ignore it. It wasn’t relevant to him in the slightest.

However, her intellect along with her good looks and annoying personality created a dangerous combination. Every conversation Felix dared have with her consisted of colourful insults and thinly veiled distaste, something both parties were excellent and seasoned at expressing.

“Where’s Peter?” Felix folded his arms, looking up at her. As luck would have it, Suluu was doing work with a welder’s blowtorch along the support beams. She never worked with any sort of protection, yet always seemed to escape unscathed. Stupid.

“No idea.” She shimmied down a column with ease so she could stand eye to eye with him. Actually, she was taller than him. Much taller, given the fact that platform heels were apparently something she never took off, even when she was doing construction work.

“How do you not know? You live here, don’t you?”

“I live at the dorms, thank you very much. Plus, I don’t keep tabs on Peter all the time. I’m not his bitch.” Her French accent was old and distinguished, like she’d spent a lot of time amongst high society in the eighteen hundreds. Honestly, if Felix had heard her on an audiobook, he’d have assumed it was recorded by voice actors who’d studied the accent. Suluu’s appearance and inclination towards current fashion was the only thing that made her recognizable as a young adult of the modern age.

“You seem to be rather attached to him.” It was the truth. Whenever Peter and Suluu were in the same room, they were constantly finishing each other’s sentences and expanding on each other’s ideas. They were the smartest in any room, and they always made everyone well aware of it.

 _Honestly, they’re quite pompous. I would_ never _be like that,_ Felix thought to himself.

“Peter and I have a special bond.” Suluu grabbed a bucket of paint and a brush, heading over to the stairwell. “He got me into the Avengers program that’s paying for my university, and helping me live out my dream. But no, I don’t know where he is.” She flicked paint in Felix’s general direction and he hissed at her, dodging the droplets.

“Don’t spray paint at me!”

“Don’t stand there being fucking pretentious, then.” She dipped the brush into the paint and returned her attention to the nearest banister, painting a careful line.

“I’m not being pretentious,” Felix said, frowning. Suluu paused mid-stroke, raising an eyebrow slowly as she looked at him.

“Your name is Felix Graham de Vanily,” she said, like that was supposed to mean something to him.

“Yes, that is my name.”

She just sighed, rolling her eyes as though he couldn’t see her. Or maybe she wanted him to know what she _really_ thought. “How’s Bridgette?”

Funnily enough, Suluu was the only person Felix ranted to about Bridgette. Perhaps it was because he felt obligated to complain in her general direction. Nonetheless, he was always surprised when Suluu actually remembered what he talked about.

Felix twirled a finger in the air. “The usual. Annoying as hell. I’ve started changing where I eat lunch every day so she can’t find me.”

“Have you considered telling her straight up that you’re not interested?” Suluu asked, crouching down to reach the bottom of the banister without so much as a wobble in her heels. She had strong ankles, Felix noted, unsure of why he was noticing. It wasn’t like that information would ever come in handy.

“I’ve told her so many times that I feel _nothing_ towards her! And still, every time, she shows up wherever I precisely don’t want her to be.”

“Have you tried showing interest in someone else? Just to get her off your case?” Suluu suggested, eyes twinkling with mischief as she looked up at him.

“I can’t even pretend to care about anyone. My apathy is my most reliable trait.”

“Well you have to. Otherwise you have no reason to complain to me. Speaking of which, Professor Morrison tells me you’re most unhelpful.”

“Right.” Felix groaned. “He’s your law professor.”

“Yeah, he is, and I’m rather fond of him. Can you not screw up this case on purpose?” Her tone was accusatory as she narrowed her eyes at him.

“I don’t know what he wants from me! That’s not my fault he expects a thesis on Spiderman that I’m unable to provide.”

Suluu gave him a stare of neutral disappointment. “Don’t be stupid, that’s all I have to say. Being on the stand is probably more stressful than you think it’ll be. You don’t seem like someone who would handle pressure well.”

Felix opened his mouth indignantly to retort but Peter chose that moment to stroll on into the foyer from the room that had previously been Gabriel Agreste’s study.

“Oh hey, Felix! I wasn’t expecting you.” Peter wiped the palms of his hands on the overalls he was wearing, sending clouds of dust spiralling through the air. “We’ve got some contractors redoing the underground room, I was just helping out. Adrien and Marinette are out.”

“I came to talk to you, actually.”

Peter exchanged a pointed look with Suluu and she gave a loud sigh, dropping her paintbrush back into the bucket, sauntering up the stairs and disappearing into one of the upstairs rooms.

“She can’t be here when we’re talking about your testimony because it might affect hers,” Peter explained.

“She’s testifying?” Felix asked, taking a seat on the steps. Peter joined him.

“As of this morning. She’s doing some sort of expert witness stuff. What’s going on?”

“Are we allowed to watch the rest of the trial?” Felix asked. “I’d like to have some idea of what’s going on before I get up there.” He wiped his sweaty palms on his knees discreetly. Truth be told, the concept of court was intimidating. Even though he wasn’t going to be on trial, something about the idea of sitting on the stand freaked him out a little bit. As Morrison had told him during their first meeting, it was best not to be mixed up in anything that could go to court. It was the lawyers’ job to dig up any dirt they could to undermine Felix’s credibility and he would get no preview of that until it happened. Felix had plenty things he’d buried in his past and he really hoped none of the lawyers found a shovel. Some things were far better left untouched and hidden from the light of day.

“Yeah, the judge doesn’t think it’ll affect our testimony or whatever. Suluu isn’t allowed to spectate until after her testimony, and Spiderman isn’t allowed in at all in case he has to be brought back in later.”

Felix hadn’t even considered that Spiderman might _want_ to watch Nathalie’s trial. After all, she was supposed to be brought to justice for acts she had committed against him, as well as the citizens of Paris.

“Have you been studying all this?” Felix asked, glancing at Peter. Peter was playing the same role as Felix in terms of what he would be doing in the courtroom, but so far he seemed to be much better informed.

“I want all this to go smoothly for Adrien’s sake,” Peter admitted, letting out a deep breath. “Nathalie was like an aunt to him, and the fact that he’ll have to get up there and talk about everything she did wrong… Let’s just put it this way. The lady is facing eight counts of terrorism, _all carrying life sentences,_ countless aiding and abetting charges, and attempted murder. If she’s convicted, she’s never seeing the light of day outside of prison again.”

Peter put it so plainly. Felix hadn’t really given much thought what would happen to Nathalie if she was convicted save the fact that she would go to jail. He definitely hadn’t thought she would die in there. No parole. No chance of leaving. Just her and her cell until the end of her days. The thought made him shudder.

It was evening by the time Felix made his way back to London, calling his chauffeur from the station. While he waited for the car, Felix mulled over Suluu’s advice. It actually wasn’t bad. Pick someone and pretend to be interested in them, just to get Bridgette off his back. Felix could definitely do that. Plus, it would distract him from the trial.

Monday morning was a dull and grey, the night’s downpour having washed away any colour the city once held. Morose faces filled the halls as Felix made his way to his first class early, eager to avoid any possibility of running into Bridgette. He slid into the classroom, dropping his book bag with a thud as he sat in his usual spot.

“Good morning, Felix. Avoiding the MacClery girl again?” Pallas Machina was Felix’s favourite teacher by far, and she taught his favourite class; philosophy. The older woman had sharp, dignified features, prim posture, and a mouth that seemed to be perpetually set in a thin line. She was the coolest person Felix had ever met. She occasionally told her life stories, and it seemed that everything she did was interesting. There was never such a thing as a boring class when Professor Machina was teaching.

“Bridgette MacClery is rather clingy, yes,” Felix said offhandedly as he dug out his book. He’d never told her about Bridgette, Professor Machina was just naturally astute when it came to observational skills.

“I feel like that’s an understatement,” his teacher said, acquiring something from her desk. “You should come have lunch with me today in my office. I’ve just heard you’re to go to court next week. I have a law degree from University of Oxford, I might be able to give you a few pointers, and it gives you an opportunity to avoid detection.”

Felix’s response was drowned out by the door banging open and one of his most visible classmates, Kate, came barging on in, her bag half hanging off one arm as she texted, her other hand holding a tray four coffees.

“Hey Prof!” She yelled over the earbuds that were blasting her music so loud, Felix could hear it. “Brought you a little pick-me-up!”

“I didn’t ask for this,” Professor Machina said as Kate placed one of the cups in front of her with an exuberant force.

“Sorry! Can’t hear you over the melodious sounds of my lord and saviour, Harry Sty-” She cut off as Professor Machina pulled her earbuds out in one swift yank.

“Why don’t you take a seat,” she suggested in the sort of way that it sounded more like an order.

Something about Kate’s antics sparked an idea in Felix’s brain. Maybe it was because she was female and also in his class, but it was also because she shared his academic passion. Kate was a good student, drank a lot of coffee, and regularly turned casual discussion into structured debate. It was believable that he’d fancy her, right?

“Kate, why don’t you come sit with me?” Felix spoke up, deciding to put his scheme into action. Both Kate and the prof turned to him, two sets of eyebrows raising slowly.

“Uh, because you hate me?” Kate said, tucking her phone into her jacket pocket. “On Friday during debate you called me ‘an insult to the complexity of the universe’ for _suggesting_ that iced coffee could be better than hot espresso.”

“It was a harsh characterization founded solely on my sentiment for espresso. Forgive me.” He gave her his best attempt at a friendly smile and, after casting a look of disbelief at Professor Machina, Kate made her way across the classroom to sit by him.

He watched as she downed the three remaining cups of coffee in rapid succession before she pulled out her notebook that appeared to be full of poorly drawn doodles in the margins that overtook most of her actual notes.

“So, Felix, what do you like to do for fun? You know, other than make ‘harsh characterizations’?”

“Don’t make small talk,” he snapped.

“Okay, I won’t, I just _have_ to ask you: do you like my new earrings?” She moved her dark hair aside to reveal dangling book earrings. Felix honestly couldn’t form an opinion worthy of defending on them. They were books. Hanging from her ears. What was he supposed to say?

“Fascinating,” he deadpanned, hiding his steadily mounting excitement. As soon as Bridgette saw him interacting with Kate, she’d instantly realize he was off the market and leave him alone, and then Felix would be free to go home with no threat of social calls or ‘friendship’.

“Hey, so, like, I’m getting people to sign this petition that will let us change the school’s national anthem to the Pink Panther theme song, and it would really mean the world to me if you’d sign,” Kate said, pulling a clipboard out of her bag and shoving it towards Felix. It took him a moment to realize she was asking him to do something and he signed in one fluid motion without a second thought. Whatever it took to get her to shut up.

“Prof?” Kate, apparently, wasn’t done her campaign. “Will you sign? We could really use a teacher backing this. I’m afraid the principal won’t think we’re serious.”

“Why on earth would he think that?” Professor Machina said dryly as the bell rung. “You’re not the student body president, are you?”

“Don’t you remember? Diego got expelled. Someone has to step up and get things done and that someone is me. Self-appointed leadership, baby! Democracy can’t be expelled! Plus it looks great on post-secondary applications.”

Felix cocked an eyebrow at her as students began filing into the classroom. “You’re going into politics?”

“Hell no,” Kate snorted, pulling her hair into a messy ponytail. “I actually want to do some good in the world. I’m looking to go into paediatric cancer. Tough job but someone’s got to do it and I guess I can handle it. I’ve been called ‘weirdly empathetic despite all lack of apparent regard for humanity’.”

“Ah yes, I said that, didn’t I?” Professor Machina said. “Trust me, it was meant as a compliment.” She moved away from their discussion to stand at the front of the class, leaving Felix and Kate to bond.

“Okay so, what gives?” Kate turned to Felix, devoting all her attention to him. “We’ve never been friendly before, why now? I didn’t peg you as the social sort.”

“I’m not,” Felix said honestly. “You’re just better than the alternatives.”

“Thanks? I think? I thought you were friends with…what’s her name…Bridgette? MacClery?”

“That’s an incorrect assumption. I hold my…friends to a higher standard than she can reach. In plain, I choose my acquaintances off of what they can offer me, and she can’t offer much.”

Kate’s eyes flickered towards Bridgette as she took a seat in the row next to theirs before she went back to staring at Felix. “So, what do I have to offer you?”

“You’re smart. Perhaps you have connections I could use.”

“And perhaps you have connections _I_ could use. Adrien Agreste’s cousin. Could come in handy.” She looked at him like he was an interesting object she’d been gifted, intent on dissecting him with her gaze. Felix hated it. That was how _he_ looked at people.

He could feel Bridgette’s eyes on them as he nodded once to Kate before turning his attention to Professor Machina.

The day’s lesson was on Niccolo Machiavelli. Felix had already read every single one of his works yet he still listened aptly. Professor Machina had a habit of calling on her pupils to defend their own beliefs, something Felix loved to do. He was an expert at picking a hill to die on at any given moment, whether it be over phases of the moon or capital punishment. If there was an opinion to be had, Felix would have it. 

Lunch followed Felix’s advanced mathematics class and so he found himself outside Professor Machina’s office, knocking on the heavy wood door.

“Come in!” She called from somewhere within, and Felix shifted his lunch tray to one arm to carefully open the door. The professor was sitting at her desk, typing rapidly into her computer. She glanced up when Felix entered.

“Take a seat,” she waved a wrinkled hand in direction of her two plush leather armchairs, a small table between them where Felix sat his tray.

They sat for a few moments in relative silence until she joined him, sitting in the other seat, retrieving a kettle she used to fill her teacup on her way.

“So,” Felix said, sipping his espresso.

“So,” Professor Machina echoed. “You’re going to trial. Must be daunting.”

“The prosecution lawyer keeps calling,” Felix said, rolling his eyes. “I’ve already told him everything I can think of.” He didn’t mind casual conversation when it was with the professor. She broadened his horizons and reworked his views in ways his peers sadly failed to do on a daily basis. The atmosphere the two of them created in the study was one of academia, recreating the old times when no one had anything better to do than to sit around and express the foundations of one’s beliefs. The only thing that was missing was an ivory tobacco pipe.

“Surely there must be something you’re not telling him. No one ever tells the full story right off the bat.” She gave him a shrewd look.

Felix pursed his lips ever so slightly, but it was a movement the professor picked up. Nervous body language was a rarity on Felix and therefore was only the more noticeable when it occurred. “What is it?”

He sighed, stretching his legs out. Professor Machina was trustworthy, above all else, and he decided in that moment to be truthful to her, lest he never be truthful again. One person on earth deserved to know the full story. “I should be on trial too. Conspiracy to commit terrorism.” He said it as casually as if he’d mentioned going to the corner store to pick up milk.

“Felix!” She said sharply, almost spilling her tea. “Why would you _say_ that?”

“Because it’s true.” He looked her earnestly in the eye, dropping his facetious façade. “After my father’s death, I made some questionable decisions. One of those being offering my assistance to steal Ladybug and Chat Noir’s miraculous to the Papillon in exchange for a ring that belonged to my mother.”

Her gaze landed on his hand where the silver ring glinted and Felix conspicuously shifted to hide it from view.

“I didn’t wind up helping him, I pickpocketed my uncle later, but…you know. I fully intended to. I’ve come a long way since then but it still doesn’t excuse my past actions. I haven’t told anyone that it happened. Only Ladybug, Chat Noir, and the Papillon knew. And the Papillon is dead and the other two aren’t testifying. No one else will ever find out, either. I’m a different person now.”

“That’s all that matters to me.” It was a cold statement, not one of reassurance, but still Felix felt at ease. The guilt that had been eating away at him ever since Nathalie’s arrest dissipated, leaving Felix a free man.

“Thanks, Professor.”

“Call me Pallas,” she said, smiling at him. “Usually I reserve that until you’ve graduated, but I make an exception for my favourite students.”

“Okay.” Felix gave her a genuine smile. “Thanks, Pallas.”

“So, what’s led you to attempt to get rid of Miss MacClery?” He’d been wondering when she would bring that up.

“I don’t know why she’s latched onto me, of all people. I’m not really what one would consider boyfriend material, nor am I looking for any romantic involvement to be perfectly candid. There’s no point to it. Either you date them and then have a horrible and dramatic breakup, or you get married and are shackled to them until one of you dies. Nasty business.”

“Felix, has anyone ever told you you are frighteningly existentialist?”

He smirked. “Ah, well, it’s better to be feared than loved, right?”

“Is it, though?” Pallas’s eye twinkled. “If you were to be an authority figure, then yes. But as a human, it is always better to be loved.”

Felix rolled his eyes, reaching for his espresso. “Machiavelli knew what he was doing.”

“You forget the remainder of the quote is ‘if you cannot be both’. One must also consider the political climate and the time period at which that quote was conceptualized. Full context is essential if you are to cherry pick quotes, Felix. Machiavelli has never been alive today, but you’ve studied the past thoroughly. Who is to know if he would say the same today and not the other way around?”

“Love is a useless and fickle thing, Professor. It is nothing but a distraction.”

“And still you love, Felix. I can see it in your eyes. You love people. Maybe not in a romantic sense, maybe you don’t even realize it, but you do care, as much as you do your best to hide it. You can’t hide it from me.”

“You don’t even know me that well,” Felix challenged.

“I know you better than you think, Felix. I see myself within you a great deal. We’re both more Machiavellian than the world wants us to be. We see it as it truly is and how it can benefit us, and still we are still human. Doomed to human error. That being said, don’t tell the lawyers about the past, they will never find out otherwise.” She leaned back in her chair, studying him like he was an interesting painting on display in a museum. “It was a foolish move on your part in the past, but I suppose it takes more than intelligence to act intelligently.”

“You’re right about that for sure.” Felix looked at his mentor, for Professor Machina truly was that. She was who he saw himself to be in fifty years, who he’d be proud to be in that amount of time. The thoughts she had were his own reflected back at him, wizened by years of experience and learning all that life was.

“I say let the world go to hell!” She chuckled with a sort of reckless yet poised abandon only one who has seen enough trial to understand freedom can possess. “Let the world go to hell, so long as I still have my tea.”

“I’ll pray for the fool who comes in between you and your tea,” Felix said, nodding ever so slightly.

“You know, Felix?” She gave him her infamous eagle-eyed stare. “I often wonder what you’ll do with your life. There are certain students who I can almost see where they’ll wind up, but something tells me you’re a wild card. You could wind up anywhere.”

“That’s the beauty of it, Professor. Destiny never gives hints. She sure loves her blindfold.”

After school found Felix back in Paris, twiddling his thumbs as Suluu and Adrien looked over his history homework. His cousin was honestly not much help, but he seemed very interested in everything Suluu had to say.

“You expect me to remember this?” Suluu held up his worksheet on the American Revolution.

“Not you personally,” Felix said, giving Adrien a look. “Just the general gist.”

“I listened to the musical recently,” Adrien offered. “About Alexander Hamilton. Marinette got me into musicals, she’s really big on them.”

“Of course she is. That’s precisely the entertainment she seems like she’d enjoy,” Felix muttered. “Give me that.” He snatched his worksheet back.

“I was working on that question about Paul Revere!” Suluu protested. “He was like _the_ most boring person in that war. Now Thomas Jefferson, I’ve got _tons_ of stuff on him. When he was here, in France, those were some wild times. Of course, he was a horrid man who did plenty horrid things, but by god the way he conducted himself. Always on opium. And I mean _always._ Is there anything on Lafayette? Now that man is a proper French icon.”

“Why do you talk about these people like you knew them?”

“Because, darling,” Suluu winked at him. “I practically did. I’ve studied lots of history to the point it’s like I lived it.” She exchanged a secretive smile with Adrien, who rolled along the landing of the steps they were sitting on to avoid showing Felix his grin.

“Is this some sort of joke I’m not getting?”

Suluu said ‘yes’ at the same time Adrien contradicted her before they both dissolved into peals of laughter. Felix narrowed his eyes at both of them, smacking Adrien with his textbook.

“Ow!” His cousin complained, rubbing his leg where Felix had hit him. “That’s not fair. You’re smart, why don’t you figure it out yourself?”

“You’re insufferable,” Felix snapped, putting everything back into his book bag. “I’m going back to London so I can actually get some proper work done.”

“Felix, come on!” Adrien sat up. “Don’t be like that. We have to go get ice cream first!”

“You’re an aberration to society,” Felix sniffed, adjusting his jacket. “But if it’s so important to you, I’ll come with you and watch you get an ice cream for yourself.”

Felix accompanied Adrien to the ice cream cart, refusing Adrien’s continued offers to buy him some. He was more of a sorbet guy.

“You ready for the trial?” Adrien asked as he walked Felix towards the train station. Felix gestured noncommittally.

“It’s all anyone can talk about. What about you?”

Adrien paused, pursing his lips as his gaze grew distant. “It still doesn’t feel real. It’s like a foggy morning before the rest of the world wakes up and it’s just you in this seemingly alone city.”

Felix followed his gaze off into the horizon, indulging himself in Adrien’s comparison for a moment. He was not empathetic by any means, but he did his best to put himself in Adrien’s shoes for the moment, however brief and hazy that moment may be.

“Did the superheroes say anything to you? About what happened, I mean.”

Adrien scuffed his shoe as he slowed his pace, twirling his spoon around in his bowl. “Yeah, I guess you could say that. Ladybug and Chat Noir are still missing but Spiderman has been really good about it. My father was unable to see reason and that what he was doing could destroy the world. He had to be stopped by any means necessary, I just sometimes wish….” His voice trailed off.

“Wish it could’ve been a less final end?”

“In the end, he was happy. At least, that’s what Spiderman told me.”

“Happy in death?” Felix let out a dry laugh. “That doesn’t seem likely.”

“What’d you just say?” Adrien’s eyes focused on Felix sharply and he paused, mentally running the sentence over in his head again to make sure he hadn’t messed up his French. French was his first language, but he was expected to speak English most of the time. Really, he only spoke French with his mother and Adrien and lately, Spiderman.

“It was in poor taste, sorry,” Felix corrected quickly, but he seemed unable to shake Adrien’s questioning glance. Maybe he’d said the wrong thing. A shadow seemed to flicker over his cousin’s face, and for the shortest of seconds, it was like Adrien had aged sixty years in front of Felix, his usually sparkling green eyes dulling like they’d seen a thousand deaths, his mouth sunken with a million words he’d never said. Then the second passed with a deep breath on Adrien’s part and he was youthful once again,

“It’s just odd that you would phrase it like that,” Adrien said after a long moment of silence. “It’s nothing, really.” He shook his head and picked his pace back up, causing Felix to have to lengthen his stride to keep up.

Felix may not have been the best at reading social situations, but something was definitely off with his cousin. He could chalk it up to the pre-trial nerves they were all experiencing, but something about Adrien in that moment couldn’t be explained by any rational thought that came to mind. And so, when they reached the train station for his return, Felix gave Adrien a brisk nod as they stopped beside one of the massive columns that lined the building’s entrance.

“I guess I’ll see you at trial,” Felix said, shifting his bag. “I’ll be busy for the rest of the week, so I won’t be able to stop by before then.”

“You’ll be watching the whole thing, I take it?”

“Of course, otherwise it’s like starting a book in the middle.” Felix stepped closer to the entrance and the stream of people heading in and coming out. “And this is a story I think I’d like to see play out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another part of the anime vault I’ve neglected to mention up until this point is the quantic kids. I wrestled with the concept of including them because they are VERY early PV lore and were the first aspect of it to be scrapped, so to speak, but I think I will include them after this initial story arc (Nathalie’s trial). The names I’ve been able to find for them so far are Claude, Allegra, and Alan, but I have no idea if those were fan-given names or official, but those are the names I’ll be using to refer to them later in the story !!
> 
> See y’all next time in which I will completely butcher the French legal system!!


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